The Blue Bird Sings

Just a 18 year old girl in the suburban Midwest, finally letting it out.

Please introduce yourself :)
Been in school for over 12 years and this, by far, was the hardest day I’ve ever experienced there. The loss of my fellow student impacted every single one of us, he was one of those few people in this world who could do that. Every passing period, class, and student were silent. But we we’re a family. Thank you all on here who have prayed/kept his family and friends in your thoughts. It means so much more than the world to me.

Something I’ve learned today is that death really is inevitable. Everyday I walk around pretending like we’ll all graduated together, all get to experience college, all get married, all witness the births of our children, all get together later in life and laugh about the memories we had.

But that’s just not true. That’s just not how life works.

We could go at any minute, and leave a wake of shock and heartbreak behind us.

It doesn’t make sense. But it doesn’t matter. Life’s a gift, whether we appreciate that or not. 


"Don’t be scared to walk alone. Don’t be scared to like it." -John Mayer

This is like, the best blogger quote of the whole universe.


Been accepted into my first university.

It’s officially starting, everyone.

No matter what, I’ll be going to college.


Another Update Guys!

Hi you guys :)

So a pretty big thing happened yesterday and I thought I’d share.

I’ve been seriously thinking about becoming a teacher lately. I love children. If there was one thing that made me smile every single time, regardless of absolutely anything- it’d be children. At least at this point in my life.

Anyways, yesterday was my first day volunteering for an inner city day care.

Amazing. It was amazing.

I was SO scared at first, I’m not going to lie. I was doubting myself the whole time driving there, my mom even told me I couldn’t take my phone because I’d be on it the whole time to pass awkward moments (probably…true).

It’s hard to explain, but it was nothing like I imagined it would be. All the kids (there’s maybe 10) introduced themselves to me (they range from about 6 to 15) and I was so scared all I focused on was looking them each in the eye and saying “Hi!” back.

I followed the head coordinator around for the most part, which was lame, but I was really frackin’ nervous. We went down into the kitchen and cooked up some BBQ and had lunch, then played in the game room, and then boarded a van and headed to a nature center!

The best part was all three of the adult leaders were wearing these headbands and then the lead one offered me one. It was like, the most amazing kind of hazing possible. I wore it for the rest of the day.

We basically played around for the rest of the time.

A seven year old taught me how to play poker. :)

I was so exhausted when I got home. But it was so worth it. The plan so far is being there for the rest of the week, and then we’ll see what happens. But I don’t think I really want to leave anytime soon…

That’s all :) hope you enjoyed a little bit about my life right now.


Intersection

It’s like I’m standing in the middle of a busy intersection,

and the quicker you pass,

the closer I pull my coat to my skin.

You whip pass me and make my hair slap me in the face,

because you’re too cowardly to do it yourself.

Undestinguishable objects whirl across my sight,

and I can’t tell which direction you’re going.

But here I stand, and will forever,

waiting for you to stop.


She Could See Everything

She looked down at her hands,

fingers streched and sweaty.

She opened her eyes as wide as she could,

and she saw nothing.

She blinked a few times,

and tried to speak,

but her tongue would not cluck.

She soon discovered she was in fact nothing,

a figment in a over crowded room of ideas- an outcast.

She looked down at her hands,

clenched and cold,

it was only when the breathing stopped

that she could see everything.

—-


no joke-every dang guy in my life so far.
le mega sigh